Saturday, February 21, 2009

Mr/Ms Nairobi Driver.....

Dear Kenyan,

You're driving towards the National Museum from town at rush hour. The route most would take is along Uhuru Highway - Museum Hill roundabout - Museum Hill. Yes?

Ofcourse there's plenty of traffic joining the Museum Hill roundabout..especially in the innermost lane. Infact the line in that lane is significantly longer and slower than the other two lanes.

Do you:

a) Join the queue and hope the police at the roundabout are helping rather than hurting traffic flow today or

b) Chuckle at all the losers queuing in a slow lane, zoom past and try to squeeze in at, or near the roundabout.

Those that would pick (b), I have this to say to you:

It is likely that you are amongst those who watch news/read newspapers and shake your head at how much our selfish/thieving leaders are ruining our country.

At some level Mr/Ms queue jumper, you are William Ruto/Yagnesh Devani or whoever you are lamenting about's why:

What you do everyday at Museum Hill roundabout (and countless other roads across Nairobi) is advance your own selfish interests in a manner that is detrimental to the greater good of the society in which you exist.

The 'losers' in the queue are also tired/just want to get home/have kids to pick from school/meetings to attend/places to get to etc. They are also frustrated and fed up with our traffic, our police (who are as likely to worsen traffic flow as to make it better) and the 'other' drivers who behave like maniacs. But they queue anyway.

I'm sure you'll say its no big deal, that I'm making too much of it, that it does not harm anyone..but I beg to differ. You're actions slow down traffic flow and contribute to the congestion. It is in large part because of you and others like you that the innermost lane is so clogged and moving so slowly. I can guarantee you if nobody did what you chose to do, that queue would move much quicker and the vast majority of us would get where we are going a lot faster. Therefore my friend, what you are doing amounts to stealing our time...which means that you are stealing our money. But you don't care about that do you? You have places to go/things to do that are much more important than anything all the others have to do right? can get away with it.

Yagnesh, Ruto etc do the stuff you complain about because they KNOW they will get away with it. So ask yourself again as you zoom past the losers in the slow lane...if you KNEW you could get away with stealing 1 or 2, 4 or 8 billion from innocent Kenyan taxpayers...would you do it?

I am inclined to think that in many cases the answer would be 'yes' for many of you chronic 'petty' traffic offenders. You won't say it out loud but your actions on a daily basis say much more than your loud lamentations.

Therefore your complaint is less about the dishonesty and immorality that you see/hear about in news everyday and more about the fact that you have not had the opportunity that the Pattnis and Too's of this world have had.

You will probably find it extreme and offensive that I would draw such conclusions about you from such a small act but your small act is symptomatic of the ills you complain about in our society.

So, Dear Sir/Madam, please think carefully about your actions on the road and act in a way that not only benefits society, but will also, more importantly, convey whatever message you wish to give about the sort of person you really are.


  1. You have NO idea how much I agree with you. This constant, constant taking advantage of others is irritating the s**t out of me, and it's not just the scum driving matatus who do this (who I have begun to hate with an irrational passion) - but lots and lots and lots of civilians, too. And yes, I think it's an issue, and it's symptomatic of some bigger issues.

    Right, that feels better ...

  2. I want to do a Documentary. Our Driving is the Triumph of the Individual over the Common Good.

    Aly-Khan Satchu
    Twitter alykhansatchu

  3. I want to get a paintball gun and shoot them...



  5. I'm with you on this one bro. Totally unreservedly agree

  6. am in total agreement, a little leavens the lamb..

  7. I would hug you if I knew you :) Very good article. If you can try and send it to one of the media houses to be published. Continue doing your bit.

  8. Spot on!! It drives me glad someone else feels me on this!

  9. i is all true and we need to reeducate our people

  10. Thanks for all the comments all. Overlapping really makes my blood boil. I would like to see very harsh punishments handed out (car impounds for a week or something like that).